The butterflies.

Do you ever get to the startline and feel like a newbie?  Like everyone else knows more than you do about running?  Has trained more than you? That no one else's stomach is turning like yours?  You get overwhelmed by all of the bright, dry-wicking running gear and fancy running shoes? 

You aren't alone.

No matter how many years I've raced or how many miles I've logged in a training cycle, I still feel like I'm a newbie.

And I think it's good for me.

It's great to have confidence and be proud of what you are doing.  But I never want to feel like I'm giving off the vibe that I have done it all or know it all. 

Because I don't.

I'm always learning about running and about myself through running.  I love learning about my body, loving it and appreciating it, testing it's limits and setting new expectations for it.  I'm seeking out new information and learning opportunities.  Connecting with other runners to get honest, first-hand feedback.  I'm trying new products and figuring out what works best for me. 

But I still feel new.  Even twelve years after I toed my first startline of that very first 5K in October of 2015. I still feel like that chubby girl in gym class that hated running the mile.  It intimidates me standing at the startline.

It's good to have those butterflies.  And it's a beautiful thing watching them fly high in the sky - as my body gets into a rhythm with my breathing by mile one and my mind knows that I can do it.  The butterflies soar. 

My confidence soars. 

And just like that - the miles transform me as I fly into the finish line.  I did it.  I have transformed.  And grown.  And learned.  Yet again.

Running changes me - over and over.  I never want to stop changing, learning, running.